If you haven’t had these 5 money talks with your partner, you’re not ready to buy together
You’ve had heated debates about paint colours. You’ve agreed on a sofa. You’ve even planned the housewarming. But have you talked about debt? Or what happens if one of you pays more into the deposit?
When you’re buying a home with a partner, it’s easy to get swept up in the fun stuff - but it’s the slightly awkward money chats that will make or break the process. These five conversations might not be romantic, but they’re essential and can save you a lot of stress later on.
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1. What’s your full financial picture?
Before you apply for a mortgage together, it’s a good idea to lay all your cards on the table: income, savings, debts, credit scores, and any financial commitments (like loans, childcare or family support). Buying a house means sharing financial responsibility, and surprises later down the line can cause friction with lenders and each other.
Things to cover:
- How much do you each earn, and how stable is your income?
- Do either of you have credit cards, loans or overdrafts?
- What’s your current credit score?
Learn more: Buying together. First-time buyer and second time buyer
2. How much can we actually afford and are we on the same page?
One of you might be happy to stretch your budget, while the other wants to play it safe. You need to agree not just on how much you can borrow, but how much you want to spend. This includes thinking beyond the deposit, including monthly payments, bills, repairs, furniture, decorating and unexpected costs. If you’re buying with a second-time buyer, this could include talking about how this impacts your stamp duty cost and how you will pay for this as a couple.
Things to ask:
- What’s our ideal monthly mortgage payment?
- What’s our backup plan if one of us earns less or loses a job?
- Are we comfortable spending our full budget, or do we want to leave some breathing room?
3. What happens if one of us puts in more?
If one of you is contributing more to the deposit or monthly payments, you’ll need to agree on how that’s recognised - especially if you’re not married. This could mean setting up a declaration of trust or buying unequal shares.
There are two ways to register your ownership when you’re buying a house with your partner. The most common is as joint owners. This means if you pass away, the house automatically passes to the other owner.
Another option is to purchase as tenants in common. You’ll own the property together, but you can leave your individual shares to someone else through your will. You can also track your contributions separately, meaning if you split up, the amount you get from the property sale will depend on how much of the deposit and mortgage payments you put in.
Things to consider:
- Are we both putting down the same deposit amount?
- Will ownership be split 50/50?
- If we broke up or sold the home, how would we divide the equity?
- Do we need legal advice?
Learn more: What you need to know about buying a house with your partner

4. How are we managing our money day-to-day?
Some couples go all-in with shared finances, others prefer to keep things separate. There’s no right answer, but you’ll need a system for managing bills, mortgage payments, and ongoing costs once you’re in the home.
Things to decide:
- Will we open a joint account?
- Who’s paying for what, and how will we track it?
- What happens if one of us wants to spend more on renovations or furniture?
Learn more: Can you buy with two Lifetime ISAs?
5. What are our long-term goals?
Buying together is a big step, but it’s also one part of a bigger picture. Make sure you're both clear on your plans: how long you want to stay in your first home, whether you’ll rent it out, sell, or raise a family there.
Ask yourselves:
- How long do we see ourselves living in this home?
- Is this a forever home, a stepping stone, or an investment?
- What if our plans change - are we flexible?
Learn more: 7 financial red flags that mean you’re not ready to buy a house yet (and how to fix them)
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